Normal

I wish this was a normal place

I wish I had a normal voice and name

Normal eyes and normal nose

Normal thoughts when my eyes close

Normal hair and chin and neck

Looking like I was blessed

But I look in the mirror

And it's not me

A different person every time

I can look into it a hundred times

Everything changes every time

Yet I hate it the same.

Why is it there? Is it me?

I don't know what me means

I have been so many things

But myself never, not that I think.

I don't know what to see

It's the same yet it's not

I wish it to die, to suffer, to rot,

And it does and so do I

Do I like it? A little, maybe.

I must have done something.

Why must I crave the unknown?

Creep into a cave hoping I'll survive to tell the tale

And hoping I will be lost so I become one

Someone parents warn their kids about,

The boogieman who tickles them,

Who takes their candy eats it,

Someone who is feared but for stupid things

But can be forgotten just as quickly

As it became known.

Must it be abnormal?

Normal is no more I suppose.

And they still teach it in school.

Normal is no more and everyone craves it

Like a tiger the meat after three days

Like humans the salt in every meal

Like crow the seeds that were thrown to it.

Why must we? Why must I?

I wish normal was real

So I could yearn for something

And hope it wasn't for nothing

But I yearn for love and people

And I hate it, both of them,

Trees are better. Aren't they?

They can dance if I imagine it,

They can sing if I do,

They're just a little shy.

I crave you too. For some reason.

I don't know why, don't ask. And I hate it.

Because I crave loneliness. More than anything.

More than crow a seed or human a pinch of salt,

More than greedy the money or prideful the attention

I don't even know who you are

But you are perfect.

Nobody knows who you are,

What you are,

Where you came and where you go,

How you come and how you go,

If you compress skulls or only souls,

But I believe we will be friends. Good friends.

But I can't keep you. You'll keep me. Forever.

I hope you will.

Man in a black coat with a scythe,

Or a woman in a white dress,

Someone scary or someone calming, I don't care.

Take me, I plead, take me.

Take me and keep me forever.

If it means I'll be at peace, I'll be normal.

Please.